Saturday, August 8th, 2020
Today has been a full day. Like our Fridays, Saturdays have gotten structure with the return of Aikido classes (outdoor) followed by a swim and various errands. Am dreading the day the outdoor pools close and our time of lap swimming and diving is history. Since EM joined the dive team every outing to the pool has us spend at least an hour on dives and we are getting pretty good at synchronized back dives. The audience never fails to be impressed!
I am making some progress with the Jo and my teachers are infinitely patient with my shortcomings. Forever willing to explain and show me techniques. I am grateful for their patience. Especially today I have been wondering about having a partner who is also practicing the art. Of course, this is with my brilliant friend in mind. I kept wondering if I could practice with him and have a deeper relationship at the same time. Given he has been involved with various martial arts for well over 25 years, I would be respectful of any guidance. At the same time I cannot help but think, that it may give a relationship (not that this is anywhere in the realm of even the remotely possible, beyond an academic exercise) a strange twist. How would it work to be someone’s student and lover and at the same time maintaining mutual respect? It is very hard for me to fathom; partially because I have a competitive streak, I guess. Being clearly inferior in the art, I am not sure how that would play out.
On the other hand, Aikido had – before the pandemic – become a significant part of my life in terms of time allocation. If not for EM, I would have spent all the five days the dojo had classes there. I do believe however that family life is important so did not partake in all classes to allow for joined dinners to catch up on the day’s events with EM. Of course, I assume there will be a time when dojos reopen, and when maybe there is a special someone in my life. That begs the question of who would put up with a partner not available most nights as these are committed to the art? Can anyone not practicing really be a partner, understand the need to spend time on the mat? And reversing that, what if the partner practices, but is, as in my case is most likely, should I find such person, far superior in his skills? I can not help but wonder how that would play out in a relationship; especially with someone as strong headed as myself. For the time being all musings, as there is of course no one in sight, despite my various efforts with online dating Apps. So far all but one of the men I have met bore me to death. More on the dating experience another time.
Today the USA records 5.1million infected people out of 19.5million globally. It is becoming increasingly clear, that the world will have to live with the virus for a long time to come. Research suggests that it will never fully go away, even if there is a vaccine and/ or a cure. This will result in significant lifestyle changes and nothing will be like it was before. Under these circumstances it is not viable to lock ourselves into our houses. How long could we do this for? Based on our experience to date, maybe three or four months, and then only in the expectation that thereafter life will be like before, which we are now learning it will not. And even then, large parts of certainly the US population could not get with the program. SoRecognizing this, we will need to adjust to live with this permanently. In addition to masks and social distancing becoming the norm rather than the exception, our new life will also include taking calculated risks. While I have been full of contempt for reckless gatherings like this crazy event with 250.000 unmasked motorcyclist getting together in South Dakota, I can fully understand people who want to be with friends and family. As a single person no matter what, it is impossible to only socialize on Zoom. The story of this seventy year old woman with preexisting conditions mirrors what we have been doing. It also reminds me of my mum and her current lifestyle. The circle of people we do socialize with has shrunk dramatically and our interactions have changed. No hugs and kisses, no touch. All gatherings so far outside, save for one family with whom we form a social pod. As a result I have found my DC circle of “friends” has shrunk. I am learning that not everyone I might have thought of as a friend actually is one. People I thought of as good friends have not been in touch once since all of this started. Some will respond when I check in on how things are. However, they do not reach out themselves. This has me thoughtful about the crowd in my DC expat life and have stopped contacting many. Now a handful of people are left, making the idea of hosting a Christmas event more manageable. We meet every few weeks for drinks or a dinner. My friends all over the globe and I are far more connected though than the people I had around the DMV.
As I continue to struggle with understanding my current host country one of my Aikido friends shared an article about the demise of empires, specifically the US today. I very much enjoyed reading it and am finding it helpful. The idea of the next power in ascent is China, is scary though.