Friday, March 5th, 2021

Difficult Questions

Today was a day like every other in the life of Corona. Work, swim, work, and a walk with a friend.

Surprisingly the teen has convinced the BF to hang at our house tonight for a change. What a surprise. I have over these past few months been concerned that maybe I have the plague or am some pariah or that our house is a terrible place as the two of them mostly spend time at his house. It seems there are plans underway to remedy the situation after I made my feelings clear to EM.

EM and I continue to be in a good space, that is to say we talk and share more time together. I guess it is dawning on her that in a few months from now her life will change completely and the time not spend together will never come back.

Last night we watched two episodes of “The Crown”, her humoring me, before she headed out for a swim and I retired to bed. She had asked me to cook rice, which I of course promptly forgot, but I did remember to book her a lane for next week. Tomorrow she has plans to have friend over for a baking day, while I shall head to practice in the park, followed by a swim before heading to book club.

EM has made two requests to me tonight; both relating to the BF and his trumpist family. I had shared the plan of hosting a quaraniversary party next Friday with her. She liked the idea of us celebrating one year of #stayhome with our bubble family. Now she has however asked if the BF and his parents would be welcome.

She has also requested I host a dinner with the BF and his parents. I am not sure how I feel about either of these requests and I am trying to understand why I am not welcoming both ideas as generally I love hosting and am always happy to welcome people into my friend group.

The fact that all of them voted for Trump is definitely a reason for my reluctance, as I am concerned the situation can easily explode. But there are many other things going through my mind.

I feel I do not really know the BF and what is important to him or if he is good for EM. For the moment, yes, he definitely is. But EM is in a transitionary period of her life with all the opportunities the world has to offer open to her. She has great universities lined up, a chance at a great education and career. Meanwhile, he has his life planned out with his parents in Fort Lauderdale, a small-town life of flipping houses; mum an interior designer, step-dad with a construction company and him a will be architect. It reminds me too much of my own marriage and the poor fit it was. Me the exotic creature living in the world, him the forever small-town boy who could not live my life.

This is not what I brought up my daughter to be. I have opened the world to her, and she has always happily embraced it. She sees herself as a global citizen. She deserves the opportunity to explore the world, pursue her dreams and ideas. I just cannot see her in living in Fort Lauderdale, doing what? I want her to go out into the world, discover herself and all that this beautiful world has to offer. Explore, be curious and not plan out the rest of your existence in Smallville at the age of eighteen. Be independent!

I guess, I will need to have faith that I did the right thing when bringing her up and that she will find her own way. If the BF is really serious and loves her, he should enable her to pursue a stella education and develop. Maybe broaden his horizonts and explore a different path.

Instead he is adamant that he will not entertain a long distance relationship. Hosting him and his parents for dinner feels to much like a meeting of the in-laws, too serious for an eighteen year old. Also, I have no idea how to communicate with these people. What does one talk about with a bunch of Trumpsters without ending up in a major dispute?

Nonetheless, I would like to understand the BF. He says he is conservative, but what exactly does that mean? My daughter barefoot in the kitchen bearing children. Him telling her what to do? How does he feel about women’s rights? Equitable societies? Will he really encourage an independent young woman to follow her dreams? I feel I need to understand more before entertaining ideas of hosting him and his parents.

I maybe a bit more open to having his parents join our quaraniversary party. I think I would like to ensure our bubble family is okay with it before extending an invitation, let them lay in on the Trump agenda. At least that way I will not be the horrid person in the room.

One way or another I can see that happening before a dinner party. I think I will need to discuss with D. and see what she has to say. A lot on my mind today.

In the meantime, the virus continues to be present. 68k new infections were reported over the past twenty-four hours, bringing the US total to 29,6 million. Discussions in the media are mostly around vaccines and who should get a shot. Interestingly the US and the EU shipped the same amount of doses until about last week. However, 15,9% of Americans have been vaccinated versus 5,9% in Germany, How?

With the JNJ shot being distributed new questions on eligibility arise. Given it is perceived as less effective people with doubts about getting a shot are even less likely to want it. Hence the suggestion is to make the JNJ vaccine available to less vulnerable, young people first and wait with vaccinating rural and vaccine critical parts of the population. If the objective is to get as many people as possible vaccinated to achieve some form of herd immunity or at least significantly decrease the spread this would be a good strategy.

I think it makes perfect sense to change vaccination priorities and reduce the spread in crowded areas. If that is the metric, California is on the right track to priorities zip codes with crowded housing, predominantely occupied by poor people. And while California is making it easier for poor people to get shots, Florida is doing the opposite by requiring people eligible because of preexisting conditions to produce a prescription for the vaccine. No other State has this requirement. Given there are millions of uninsured without access to doctors this is outrageous and keeps poor people from being inoculated with a vaccine developed with their tax dollars. Maybe Florida should just not be allocated any doses until access is equitable.

Statements such as those by the major of Detroit are not helpful. He declined a shipment of the JNJ vaccine claiming they had enough of the other two which are better anyway, and he would only get the best for his people. Well, I suggest Detroit move to the end of the line, along with Florida (though Florida for different reasons) and let others have their allocations.

The inequity in this country is something I struggle with.