Friday, March 19th, 2021

Heart to Heart

It was a beautiful spring day today. Sunny, coolish, gorgeous. Strangely the teen in residence had no plans for the day as the BF is working.

After a busy day at work, my noon swim a nice break, EM and I resumed our neighborhood walk late in the afternoon.

I had a lot on my mind and tried to broach the subject carefully. For the most part both of us were crying during our walk. I am trying to walk a fine line between being supportive and laying out her life choices for the future. Given she will start taking the pill the discussion about a potential unwanted pregnancy was part of the conversation, as was following her heart and the importance of being independent.

In two weeks, she will be eighteen and will no longer be bound by what I believe is right. I hope, I have brought up a young woman capable of making the right decisions for herself. A young woman who will not allow an infatuation to dictate her future. After April 2nd I can take away money, cut her off, but I can no longer decide for her. I have to trust her to make the right decisions for her life.

Of course, all of these thoughts are spurred by her relationship with Mr. Smallville who at the tender age of nineteen has his life perfectly laid out. I know this is not her. I was desperately trying to find the right words to impress on her that we are birds of paradise to many with our exotic backgrounds, but that few of the stable people can live our lives, just like we can not live the Smallville lives. My own marriage being a case in point. I believe what attracted the ex to me was the worldliness, the being different, but he could not live the nomad live. He longed for small town. I however, could not see myself in small town, so it fell apart. I will not be able to prevent my daughter from making the same experience, but I can alert her to the difficulties, where after she will have to make her own choices.

Like every mother I want her to be happy, carefree, and successful in whatever path she chooses. What I do not want for her is a life following someone else’s dream. She should live her own dream. Maybe I need to express it in those terms. And maybe I worry too much. I just do not know. She is young, she has all the opportunities in the world, and I want her to embrace them. I guess I need to trust that she is my daughter.

Meanwhile on the virus front things appear to be improving. The USA is plateauing at some 63k new infections every twenty-four hours. That is still almost as much as China had throughout the entire pandemic (84k). And still 1.200 Americans die every day. Nonetheless, it feels as if things are looking brighter. The Biden administration has reached its target of 100 million shots on day 58 of his presidency, a full 42 days early! 

A friend of mine called today to say both he and his wife have received their first jab. He provided me with the link to pre-register at a Federal facility in Baltimore, which I have done. Now waiting to see if they will send me a link to make an appointment. Apparently, I fall into group 1C as I have pre-existing conditions putting me into a high-risk category should I contract the virus. It would be awesome to receive the vaccine as the dojo has decided that inoculated members can return to partner practice on the mat! I do not want to jump the line but am anxious to resume practice.

On that note, it appears the FB account of my Turkish Sensei has been hacked, which explains the weird posts.

There is plenty of news on the vaccine front. JNJ is conducting trials for its next generation shot. This is important as variants will continue to emerge. The vaccines are effective, but this does not mean the virus will be eradicated. Even with after full inoculation some will contract the virus, albeit only in mild versions.

Scientists say that is normal and no cause for worry. After all the commotion around the AstraZeneca/ Oxford vaccine scientists now agree it is safe and effective.  It has been administered to millions of people with a total of thirty showing these blood clots, which by the way 1: 30.000 children exhibit when inoculated with the combined mumps/measle/rubella vaccine. So, this is not an unheard of side effect for vaccines generally. With regard to the AstraZeneca/ Oxford vaccine no causality could as yet be established, which is why European countries are using it again. How to undo the loss of public confidence is another question entirely.

Meanwhile Boris Johnson has been publicly vaccinated with the AstraZeneca/ Oxford vaccine, this may help instill confidence in its safety. I am hoping other European leaders will do the same.

A funny story is related to a Bahrainian Sheik’s aspiration to climb Mount Everest. In his baggage the Sheik brings two thousand doses of vaccines, just not the AstraZeneca shot expected by officials, but a Chinese vaccine.  Officials are now trying to figure out how to deal with the surprise. The Sinopharm vaccine has been approved for use in Nepal, but the country has not yet received any donations and is waiting for two million shots of AstraZeneca/ Oxford to be delivered by the Serum Institute in India.

As the pandemic’s end is in sight people are scared to leave their pandemic lives. I can relate to that. I am certain my post pandemic life will not be the same.

I will forever be anxious about crowded and enclosed space. And I think I will embrace my masks.